the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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