ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
