p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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