so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
