That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
