I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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