Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
