Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
