Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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