plz talk dirty to me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
