Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
