i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
