Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
