You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
