my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
