the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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