I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
