it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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