playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
