im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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