Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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