Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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