I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
