we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How's work?
Spinning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
