So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
