I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
