I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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