How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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