i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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