Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
