carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
