everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
