apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
