Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻‍♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
