he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
