will power is for people who don't want to get laid
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i now understand why vodka
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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