Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
