i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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