dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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