Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
