so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
