It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
