Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
