last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
where am i from again
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Found your dick twin last night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
