We're like a lot better than the average bears
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
