I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My vagina is officially offended.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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