I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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