she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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