But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
