Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
