i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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