piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize