he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
