So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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