I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
