You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
