so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
